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Down The Rabbit Hole: The Playboy Mansion Is For Sale

HughHefner

The most renowned aphrodisiac on the planet is up for grabs within the next month. The world famous Playboy Mansion is set to go on the market to one lucky (and extremely wealthy) buyer for an alleged asking price north of $200 million.

It comes with every amenity imaginable including a catering kitchen, a separate game house and is one of the few private residences in Los Angeles with a zoo license. And, of course, you get the grotto and the more than 5 acres of land that comes with the ritzy address.

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It also comes with an older gentleman whose wardrobe of choice is a robe and slippers, and who’s also turning 90 in early April.

You read that right.

Hugh Hefner comes with the property. He ain’t leaving – so your $200 million just bought a swan songing lothario who you can consider your new, eccentric roommate. It’s college all over again. Hef isn’t asking any prospective buyer if he can stay. He’s telling them. Of the 29 rooms in the estate, the new owner will have access to 28 of them because “Home with Hef” precludes you from entering his bedroom – that’s where he’ll be holed up. So if you were hoping he’d relocate to an apartment over the garage or a detached pool house, you’re out of luck. $200 million doesn’t go as far as it used to, does it?

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We’re not sure yet whether this 89 year-old added feature is a good thing or an extremely creepy, overpriced accessory. What we’re not reading reports of is whether the groupies and celebrity friends have a part in this timeshare as well. With all due respect to studs like James Caan and Jack Nicholson (two of our idols), partying with them now is a far cry from their respective editions thirty years ago.

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Hef and James Caan back in the day.

And after the scathing tell-all from former girlfriend Holly Madison that detailed the true goings on behind closed doors with Hef, that was hardly an endorsement that many would embrace for a property partnership. At the very least, according to Madison, some carpet cleaning should be scheduled.

Then again, with all of the secret passages and the girth of a 22,000 square foot compound, you might not even know Hef was on the grounds. What an opportunity to break bread with and become a sounding board for the REAL, “most interesting man in the world.” The stories. The pearls of wisdom from a preeminent entrepreneur and media titan. And while most humans who can get there hands on $200 million probably don’t have trouble socially if they’re single, there’s always the chance that Hef can summon his ‘little black book’ and make some introductions.

After all, in this day and age, it’s all about networking – and calling the Playboy Mansion “home.”

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